Link to Are You There God? Albert: and all I had to do was distract you while the poison entered your bloodstream. By creating an account, you agree to the Tinker Bell and the Legend of the NeverBeast, Psycho (The Complete Original Motion Picture Score), A Million Ways To Die In the West (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) [Deluxe Edition], Classic Soundtracks: Psycho (1960 Film Score), The Imitation Game (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), The Magnificent Seven (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), Hercules (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), Cosmos: A SpaceTime Odyssey (Music from the Original TV Series), Vol. Albert: My worst fear is to OD on a recreational drug. Anna: I don't think you should leave tomorrow. Albert Stark, a mild mannered sheep farmer living outside of Old Stump, Arizona, hates everything about living in this time and place, especially the literally million ways he and others can easily die every day without a care, from shoot-outs, to bar brawls, to bites by rattlesnakes hiding in outhouses, to affliction by any one of numerous untreatable plagues and pestilences. A Million Ways to Die in the West hits theaters on May 30. Its justits a song about sperm, and yet they treat it with such legitimacy in their orchestration and their vocal performance and their choreography, and its this huge number with what looks to be over 100 dancers on screen. 1882. A Million Ways to Die in the West. At a recent press conference held in Los . Amick Byram. As a fan of Seth MacFarlane's series Family Guy and his feature film debut Ted, it's a shame to report that if you've seen the trailers for his new western comedy A . Enter Anna, played by Charlize Theron, a regular Annie Oakley who takes a shine to Albert and wants to show him how to cock his pistol. Anna: Oh, thank God, 'cause I was like ah [mimics gun to her head] , kill me. Yet the screenplay he penned with Family Guy/Ted hands Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild is slapdash at best. Newspapers Limited, 8 Spadina Avenue, 10th Floor, Toronto, ON M5V 0S8. You know, like snakes. Inspiration for the Work: The film originated as an inside joke between Seth MacFarlane and co-writers Alec Sulkin and Wesley Wild while they were watching Hang 'Em High. Seth MacFarlane directs, produces, co-writes and plays the role of the cowardly sheep farmer Albert in A Million Ways to Die in the West. Edward: Albert, he's dead. The one where EW follows up with the cast. Seth MacFarlane, the rowdy "Family Guy" creator who wrote, directed, and stars in the new comedy "A Million Ways to Die in the West," stopped by TODAY Thursday to talk about the film. expressly prohibited without the prior written consent of Toronto After backing out of a duel and losing his girlfriend, sheep farmer Albert slowly rebuilds his self-respect with the help of a married woman. The shooting gallery at the fair has only 10 targets (2 rows of five), but Anna shoots 12 for a perfect score. He is also not adept at shooting guns, which makes the death by shoot-outs even more likely, and is the reason why he cowers out of a shoot-out with someone to whom he owes money. There is a post-credits sequence involving the gunman at the fair from the final scene. Internet Service Terms But some men were just big giant pussies. [Stark comes running around the corner and falls and his face]. And in director/co-writer/star Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West (in theaters today), Neil Patrick Harris, playing the douchebag proprietor of an Old West mustache shop, loses a . Albert: You know what else can kill you? Do you know what kind of hours he has to work? However, a pistol-packing woman named Anna (Theron) rides into town and helps Albert find his inner courage. She neglects to tell him that shes married to the outlaw Clinch Leatherwood (Liam Neeson), an infamous and jealous gunslinger who regularly contributes to that million-ways body count. Louise: [flustered] They're not that big. Anna: There is something about connecting over mutual hatred that is just so much deeper than mutual love. A 2021 study estimated more than a third of U.S. heat deaths each year can be attributed to human-caused global warming. I'm the guy in the crowd making fun of the hero's shirt; that's who I am. Sign in to rate and Watchlist for personalized recommendations. Apple Inc. It stunts their attention span. - Original Motion Picture Soundtrack. Anna: Especially a smoking hot girl. MacFarlane also relied on veteran singer and two-time Grammy nominee Amick Byram to do the vocals. Making a splash: A deep dive into the live-action Little Mermaid with a new generation's Ariel. Albert Stark, a mild mannered sheep farmer living outside of Old Stump, Arizona, hates everything about living in this time and place, especially the literally million ways he and others can easily die every day without a care, from shoot-outs, to bar brawls, to bites by rattlesnakes hiding in outhouses, to affliction by any one of numerous untreatable plagues and pestilences. As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival.As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival.As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival. All you need is a little bit of the venom introduced into your bloodstream and you're pretty much screwed. 1:31. When the rivalry leads to a duel, he gets help from an unexpected, beautiful source. 2 likes. Albert: "The American west is a terrible place and time. These are full loads. Get the freshest reviews, news, and more delivered right to your inbox! MacFARLANE: It always depends on the gag, more than the person. 2014 Back Lot Music. Although she states otherwise, the shoot-out is arguably the last straw for Louise, Albert's vain girlfriend, who breaks up with him. PREVIEW. Copyright 2023 Edward: Please don't shoot us on sex night. R. 1h 56m. When a mysterious and beautiful woman rides into town, she helps him find his courage and they begin to fall in love. Like, My God, you put all this work and all this time and all this artistry into a song about sperm?'. Starring: Seth MacFarlane,Charlize Theron,Liam Neeson. Albert: [Being offered a pot cookie by Anna] The last time somebody gave me one of these, I became convinced that prairie dogs could read my mind. 3 likes. Albert: Oh my god, please! 14. Albert: Oh. But when her husband, a notorious outlaw, arrives seeking revenge, the farmer must put his newfound courage to the test. and the 1882. What Shows Have Been Renewed or Canceled. May 29, 2014. His running gag about how people never smile in old-fashioned photographs might have seemed hilarious on paper but it certainly isnt on the screen. As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival. Louise was right, I can't keep track of them. A Million Ways to Die in the West, Seth MacFarlane's follow-up to Ted, has a solid cast and holds promise, but the trailers simply gave all the best jokes away. Barn Dance Comedian: I tell you, folks, this telegraph machine, that thing is nuts. You know, like snakes. There is an unrated, Extended Cut available, approximately 20 minutes longer. It just makes it that much funnier. Then the mysterious Anna rides into town and captures Albert's interest and heart, but with her deadly husband in town, Albert is going to have to become the western gun-slinging hero he never was. Indian Chief: (after Albert's drug trip hallucination; in Athabaskan) Did you shoot the black condor and then kicked it in the balls? Edward: No I feel like I should have a piece of cake or something. I never see him. Albert: I'm not the hero. 27 Songs, 1 hour, 2 minutes Gunman at Fair in Final Scene: Somebody bring me one of them white women. It's 1882 in Arizona, the heartland of the American West. He was Methodist, I'm half Jewish. As Albert and Anna start to fall for each other in the process, Anna has to decide if and when she will tell him the truth: that she is already married, albeit unhappily, to Clinch Leatherwood, a vicious outlaw who, along with his gang, she and Lewis are waiting for in Old Stump. Gunman at Fair in Final Scene: [after shooting someone] people die at the fair. The 50 greatest TV and movie detectives of all time. R. Stream songs including "A Million Ways To Die", "Main Title" and more. Albert: Okay, that's Bridget, all right? Unexpectedly, Anna and Albert have a genuine connection--and as our unassuming hero learns the fundamentals of survival in the inhospitable wild west--an ironic, yet grave challenge against an unforeseen and mighty adversary demands that he puts to the test his newly found abilities. Ruth: But this is just the outside, there's these folds. 17+. "A Million Ways to Die in the West" lacks the inspired lunacy of Mel Brooks' timeless Western, and won't last the ages as a seminal swipe at the genre, but at least MacFarlane gives the . Given his knack for singing the guy truly is multi-talented MacFarlane might have done better with following the musical comedy example of Paint Your Wagon rather than the slapstick of Mel Brooks for his western swing. . A Million Ways to Die in the West rides into theaters . If You've Only Got a Moustache. Watch A Million Ways To Die In The West: Anna Tries To Teach Albert How To Shoot, Watch A Million Ways To Die In The West: Foy Mocks Albert On Their Way To The Shooting Gallery, Watch A Million Ways To Die In The West: Anna Meets Albert At The Dance. Overly crude jokes and gross-out humor drag comedy down. There's, uh, famine, disease, gunfights. Comedy 2014 1 hr 55 min. See production, box office & company info. It's got to be bad for their brains, right? Albert: Oh, f*** that. The real peculiarity of A Million Ways To Die in The West and what a waste of a great titleis that it's got no good reason to be a Western in the first place, tongue-in-cheek or not. A Million Ways to Die in the West. Toronto Star articles, please go to: www.TorontoStarReprints.com, Conversations are opinions of our readers and are subject to the, The Toronto Star and thestar.com, each property of Toronto Star Chinese Date: How should I know? [stammers] It's a weather experiment. Anna: Yeah, well, I'll go with you. permissions/licensing, please go to: www.TorontoStarReprints.com, Starring Seth MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Liam Neeson, Neil Patrick Harris, Amanda Seyfried, Sarah Silverman and Giovanni Ribisi. The film was released on May 30, 2014, in the United States, and distributed worldwide by Universal Pictures. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Stay up-to-date on all the latest Rotten Tomatoes news! Albert: It's just another way God mysteriously shows that He loves us. the Terms and Policies, and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. Copyright 2023 I suck at dancing. 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George Stark: [Farts] That came out of my penis! Is it possible to overthink moronic humour? 33%. Albert, in turn, has to decide when he will become a real man in doing what he needs for what, or who, he truly wants in life. Offers may be subject to change without notice. Edward: Yeah. Seth MacFarlane's western spoof A Million Ways to Die in the West includes nods to such genre classics as The Searchers and Unforgiven. Her "it's not you, it's me" reason rings false as she quickly starts up with mustachioed Foy, the wealthy owner of a mustache grooming products store, he who Albert knows he cannot compete in not being wealthy enough to be able to grow a groomed mustache. Well, it was still good though. Amick Byram. Your mileage may vary depending on your enthusiasm for his smirking frat-boy comedy. Opens Friday at major . Albert cant abide the mindless brutality, appalling hygiene and constant danger of life in Old Stump, the tumbleweed town he reluctantly calls home: Everything out here thats not you wants to kill you.. rights reserved. It's Me, Margaret. Like. He is also not adept at shooting guns, which makes the death by shoot-outs even more likely, and is the reason why he cowers out of a shoot-out with someone to whom he owes money. PREVIEW. to colleagues, clients or customers, or inquire about Anna: I mean we're basically splitting this country 50/50 with them. Albert: Hey, sorry I killed your husband. Set in 1882 in the American west, Albert is a lowly farmer with a nice girlfriend. If You've Only Got a Moustache. When a mysterious and beautiful woman rides into town, she helps him find his courage and they begin to fall in love. "There it is!" "Dear God, look at it!" "It's beautiful!". As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival. However, when the infamous West outlaw Clinch Leatherwood (Liam Neeson) arrives in town, Albert realizes that he has just intruded on Clinch and Anna's husband-and-wife relationship, and Clinch is hungry for retribution. Depressed and discouraged by how his life is full of disappointment and how every instance of love is then destroyed and robbed from him, Albert finds comfort in Anna (Charlize Theron), a newcomer to his small village. As Albert and Anna start to fall for each other in the process, Anna has to decide if and when she will tell him the truth: that she is already married, albeit unhappily, to Clinch Leatherwood, a vicious outlaw who, along with his gang, she and Lewis are waiting for in Old Stump. With Seth MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Amanda Seyfried, Liam Neeson. . The men who were courageous and resilient were the men who prospered. Although she states otherwise, the shoot-out is arguably the last straw for Louise, Albert's vain girlfriend, who breaks up with him. All you need is a little bit of the venom introduced into your bloodstream and you're pretty much screwed. Old Stump Bluegrass . Well, did he at least hear all the smart things I said? Albert: Yeah. There may indeed be A Million Ways to Die in the West, as the title of Seth MacFarlanes parody western asserts. WARNING: The rest of this article contains minor spoilers for A Million Ways To Die In The West.If you haven't seen the film, read on at your own risk! When the rivalry leads to a duel, he gets help from an unexpected, beautiful source. [Albert notices a glow from inside a building and peeks inside], [It is Doc Brown from "Back to the Future" working on the DeLorean, which is under a tarp; Doc notices Albert and covers up the car]. The film follows Albert Stark (MacFarlane) who feels certain that the western frontier is trying to kill him while coping from his break-up with his girlfriend. After all, you can never go wrong combining westerns and music . PREVIEW. Entertainment Weekly may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. 15. It was released on DVD and Blu-ray on October 7, 2014, and earned more than $15 million in home media sales. A Million Waysto Die in the West is a gross-out Gunsmoke, with MacFarlane directing an old-timey facsimile of his modern self in the lead role of Albert, a cowardly sheep herder in the Arizona of 1882. The film was number three at the box office during its opening weekend and grossed over $87 million worldwide against a budget of $40 million. Casting was done between December 2012 and March 2013. Narrator: Some people are born into the wrong time and place. 18 Songs, 41 minutes By continuing, you agree to the Privacy Policy and When she sees me, she'll be intimidated as f***. Isn't the fair on Saturday? A Million Ways to Die in the West: Trailer 1, A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Ways to Die, A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Eddie's Girl, A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Things Could Be a Lot Worse, A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Eddie's First Time. Your sheep are everywhere. 2014 Back Lot Music. Maybe its his way of paying her back for mentioning her in his tasteless We Saw Your Boobs song at the Oscars. Vulgar -- yes, but just not funny. On the other hand, Albert also has to find the gunslinging skill in order to battle Louise's new boyfriend - the cocky and wealthy Foy (Neil Patrick Harris) - in a shootout in front of the entire town. 'A Million Ways to Die in the West': Inside the 'Mustache Song'. Updated at 22nd July 2015 by rearranging the order of some entries: What is the Japanese language plot outline for A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)? What should be an ensemble comedy is more of a showcase for MacFarlane, who also co-writes and takes production and music credits. 11. Anna vows to help Albert with many issues in his life, most specifically in getting Louise back largely by pretending to be his girlfriend to make Louise jealous, and learning how to shoot in what ends up being a challenge to a shoot-out with Foy for Louise's hand. We Should All Just Wear Coffins As Clothes, Tinker Bell and the Legend of the NeverBeast, Psycho (The Complete Original Motion Picture Score), A Million Ways To Die In the West (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), Bernard Herrmann: The Twilight Zone Conducted By Joel McNeely (Music From Television Series), Star Wars: Shadows of the Empire (Original Soundtrack), X-Men: Days of Future Past - Rogue Cut (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) [Extended Version], The Imitation Game (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), 007: Casino Royale (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) [Deluxe Version]. But when her husband, a notorious outlaw, arrives seeking revenge, the farmer must put his newfound courage to the test. But, just how many ways to die are there in the west? Edward: Hey, dude, you really shouldn't drink and horse. In Seth MacFarlanes A Million Ways to Die in the West, Neil Patrick Harris takes center stage for one of the films best sequences the highly choreographed and riotously funny Mustache Song., I do always feel like everything that I do should have some sort of musical component, MacFarlane told EW. Tap "Sign me up" below to receive our weekly newsletter The one thing a sheep farmer has to do is keep all of the sheep in one place, all right? There was a sheep in the whorehouse the last week. When a sheep herder who hates the West saves a young lady . The film features an ensemble cast including MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Amanda Seyfried, Neil Patrick Harris, Giovanni Ribisi, Sarah Silverman and Liam Neeson. One of A Million Ways to Die in the West is to give away all your jokes in the promos leading up to your film's debut. Anna: Oh God, that was never gonna work out anyway. Anna vows to help Albert with many issues in his life, most specifically in getting Louise back largely by pretending to be his girlfriend to make Louise jealous, and learning how to shoot in what ends up being a challenge to a shoot-out with Foy for Louise's hand. Albert is befriended by Anna, along with her "brother" Lewis who are new to Old Stump, and she who is self-admittedly "smokin' hot". Directed by Seth MacFarlane. It won't be easy because there are a million ways to die in the west. And just a small amount of venom in an open wound is enough to kill a man if he's Albert: Did he hear all that smart stuff I did? Set in 1882 in the American west, Albert is a lowly farmer with a nice girlfriend. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "A Million Ways to Die in the West" is a moronic 2. Hes outclassed by Charlize Theron, who shows off her comedy chops in a surprisingly big way and generally seems to be enjoying herself. Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story: Season 1, Link to Marvel Movies Ranked Worst to Best by Tomatometer, Link to Asian-American Pacific Islander Heritage, Link to RT25: Celebrating 25 Years of Rotten Tomatoes. The movies best lines are typically one-liners that rarely come from the lips of MacFarlane, who frequently oversells a joke when he isnt merely spouting obscenities. Vulgar, crude, self-referential, and irreverent, A Million Ways to Die in the West is a typical Seth MacFarlane comedy. He followed up Ted with 2014's A Million Ways to Die in the West, a spoof of westerns pointing out just how bleak and unromantic life in the Old West would've been. If MacFarlane had spent as much time crafting jokes as he did writing the lyrics for the amusing title tune (sung by country ace Alan Jackson) and the catchy mid-film number The Mustache Song, A Million Ways to Die in the West would have been a much better movie. A Million Ways to Die in the West is not for everyone. By Stephen Holden. Updated at 22nd July 2015 by rearranging the order of some entries: What is the Japanese language plot outline for A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)? Yet hes afraid to stray from knuckle-dragging comedy, being obsessed with jokes about farts, diarrhea and genitals that splat more often than they zing. Making a splash: A deep dive into the live-action. 2014 Universal Studios. . Albert, in turn, has to decide when he will become a real man in doing what he needs for what, or who, he truly wants in life. As a very loose rendition of historical fiction, it requires an ability to enjoy the suspension of belief in order to appreciate the humor, as well as an ability to look past the few offensive remarks to that are both poignant stabs at the time period as well as timely interpretations of . CookiePolicy Comedy, Romance, Western. Anna: Yeah, but those are quarter loads. But when she leaves him for the more successful and handsome owner of a moustachery store, Albert returns to his lonely daily life of trying to avoid death. If You've Only Got a Moustache. Terms and Policies What Shows Have Been Renewed or Canceled. . Stream songs including "A Million Ways To Die", "Main Title" and more. All A Million Ways to Die in the West Videos A Million Ways to Die in the West: Trailer 1 2:30 Added: January 19, 2017 A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Ways to Die 2:24 Added . A Million Ways to Die in the West is a 2014 American western comedy film directed by Seth MacFarlane, who wrote the screenplay with Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild. A passive, shy sheep farmer tries to avoid conflict, a trait which has kept him alive but has now resulted in his girlfriend leaving him. Listen to A Million Ways To Die In the West (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) [Deluxe Edition] by Joel McNeely on Apple Music. Albert: You know, there are a million ways to die in the west, Clinch. Cochise: There is an ancient proverb among my people: Sometimes the only way for a man to find true happiness is to take drugs in a group. But, just how many ways to die are there in the west? But when she leaves him for the more successful and handsome owner of a moustachery store, Albert returns to his lonely daily life of trying to avoid death. But when she leaves him for the more successful and handsome owner of a moustachery store, Albert returns to his lonely daily life of trying to avoid death. Apple Inc. Set in 1882 in the American west, Albert is a lowly farmer with a nice girlfriend. Anna and Albert. Unexpectedly, Anna and Albert have a genuine connection--and as our unassuming hero learns the fundamentals of survival in the inhospitable wild west--an ironic, yet grave challenge against an unforeseen and mighty adversary demands that he puts to the test his newly found abilities. It found more than 1,100 deaths a year from climate change-caused heat in . 27 May 2014 Monty Pythons Every Sperm is Sacred is sort of the best example I can think of, he said. After Albert backs out of a gunfight, his fickle girlfriend leaves him for another man. September 9, 2014 If You've Only Got a Moustache. Now, I knew my aim wasn't good enough to hit you anywhere important. Albert: She moved to town a couple of years ago to take over the schoolmarm job. And, uh, wild animals. Albert: Oh. 1882. Ditto the overdone sideshow of Sarah Silvermans energetic town prostitute bonding with Giovanni Ribisis bible-thumping virginal shoemaker. Albert: No, no, no, no! 10. Albert: Yeah, I saw that. https://www.quotes.net/movies/a_million_ways_to_die_in_the_west_110222, A Million Ways to Die in the West Screenplay, A Million Ways to Die in the West's quotes, https://www.quotes.net/movies/a_million_ways_to_die_in_the_west_quotes_110222. Listen to A Million Ways To Die In the West (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) by Joel McNeely on Apple Music. Ruth: Oh yeah, it's this, its like from here to here. All rights reserved. One father scolded his young son, "Take your hat off! this link is to an external site that may or may not meet accessibility guidelines. Albert: [Before drinking from the bowl with the indian tribe] "Mila Kunis" - subtitled as "Fine".